Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hunk of Burning Love

I know what you are thinking. 
What a couple of pretty, young things!  Holy Moly...they are hot!! I mean sexy!
Maybe not.  But, in comparison to today...we were lookin' good.  My husband and I have been a couple for sixteen years, officially on Valentine's Day.  That is quite an accomplishment for us, considering we have just about been together for half of our time on this earth.  This was only supposed to be my starter marriage.  And now look at us!!
When I look at this picture of us leaving for our Hawaii honeymoon, twenty two year old babies, with no idea what we had gotten ourselves into, with only the knowledge that we were in love and little else going for us...dramatic pause...I sigh.  
Actually that is not true.  I blush!  I remember how it all started back when I was a girl of sixteen.  Seemingly overnight, I had sprouted boobs and hips, and had absolutely no idea what to do with them.  But, I figured they gave me license to have a boyfriend, so I went lookin' for one.  Picture this: across a crowded intersection,  my girlfriends and I see a florescent purple pickup truck with what looked like a lot of trouble sitting in the back and waving us over.  (Side note: when we told my girlfriend's mom that we had met boys who were riding in the back of a pickup truck, she asked if we would be seeing the "lawn care workers" again.  Nice.) 
I instantly pulled my mom's Volvo over to the Taco Bell parking lot and we met.  It was the usual parking lot exchange.  He told me his name was B.J. (it's not) and we made awkward conversation.  My friends flirted with his friends and the guys handed out their pager numbers (so badass).  I thought 16 year old B.J. was...nice.  
So a friendship ensued!  He was patient.  He bided his time and was a perfect gentleman, always listening to my teenage troubles and when necessary, providing shoulder to cry on.  One day, we decided to meet up in the fated parking lot where it all began.  We had not seen each other in a few months but had stayed in touch over the phone.  I remember seeing a gorgeous guy step out of a red muscle car across the parking lot.  I turned to my friend and said, "Who is that?"
What I was thinking was, "Break me off a piece of that!" or maybe "Can I get some fries with that shake?" What can I say? The man has a great butt.  
She laughed, and said, "That's B.J.!" 
He was tan, a lot taller, and gorgeous.  From that moment on, I was all in.  I worked for that first date.  And when we had our first official date on Valentine's Day of 1996, we kissed through the whole horribly inappropriate first date movie ("Leaving Los Vegas"- barf).  I actually had bruised lips the next day.  
This was not typical behavior for teenaged Kate.  I was pretty scared of boys.  And they were scared of me.  I was melodramatic and fell "in love" at the drop of a hat.  Teenage boys tend to not like this so much.  I didn't particularly want to kiss them.  Just poke them with a stick from afar (like an insect).  They really did not like that.
But I can honestly say that from our Valentine's Date 16 years ago,  I was fearlessly in love and he was with me.  B.J. never ran when the going got tough. He already knew me and bought the whole package of hormones and emotions.  We were both terribly flawed and dysfunctional and together we just fit. He taught me how to speak the truth to the person you love, and we still do today. 
Since then, our relationship has survived 4 years of long distance romance, financial disasters, and tragedy that would sent a lot of people running.  But not us.  My brave husband is a fighter, like none I've ever seen.    I am so proud of the man that he has grown up to be and I do not tell him nearly often enough.  He is my first love and my last.  I would not change a second of our years together.  And just in case he is wondering, I do know that I am the lucky one. 

And most importantly, I still think that man is sexier than socks on a rooster.   Hmmm... I wonder if he would trade in his Lexus for a purple pick up truck.


  1. How wonderful and how refreshing. He is a tower of strength in many ways. I think you and Annie chose well. My love to you and "BJ".

  2. I looove this post. Absolutely my favorite!! And I love this picture of the two of you--you DO look young and sexy!! One of the great questions posed to individuals in a struggling marriage trying to decide if it's worth the fight is, "Do you think you could do any better?" I can tell you without any doubt cousin that I do not believe you could have done any better. (And I am fortunate to say the same for myself.) You chose well--very well. For all the small stuff you go through, all the normal marriage bullshit; he is such a great man. Just a great man. I am very proud of the two of you and how far you've come together!! Happy Anniversary! xoxoxoxo

  3. Thank you!!!! We learned from the very best. : )We are fortunate to have great role models in our lives.