Tuesday, April 17, 2012

It's a Bad Day, Not a Bad Life.

Oh, the angst of being a mother! Have you ever noticed that just as soon as you say, "Well, I'm doing just fine!" and you actually mean it, it's like a little pointy tailed devil sits on your shoulder and says, "Oh yeah? How do you like me now?!" Bastard.  
Back in December, I reconciled myself to the fact that Lulu, our three year old, was having some major sensory issues.  I  took the necessary steps, filled out the proper paperwork, and was all set to have an occupational therapist do an evaluation. Then "Poof!", like magic, my prayers were answered and her symptoms disappeared.  We lived in a world filled with seat belts, jeans, socks, underwear, shoes, funny smells, and other pesky things with relative ease.  But, just as Hubby and I breathed a sigh of relief, Lulu's symptoms came back as swiftly as they had left. 
And I'm okay with it; really.  As a former teacher, I know all too well about the real struggles that children can have in this life.  In fact, like most parents, I lay awake at night, marveling at how God took the best parts of me and Hubby and made these perfect little people.  
Trust me, people.  With our genetic pool there are soooooo many ways that combination could have gone wrong. Once, while a doctor was reviewing my medical history, family history, etc., she actually said, "Wow! You might want to think about not having anymore kids.  Sounds like you guys got pretty lucky with the ones you have!" 
So my beautiful little girl has a sensory processing disorder.  That's something we can handle.  But when you throw in a migraine that just won't die no matter what you do to it, things get a little dicey.  Between Lulu's screeching and the migraine, a girl can get wiped out.  Today, I congratulated myself because I actually put laundry away and vacuumed (well at least the important parts).  And later today, just for fun, I may take a shower!  I don't know...we'll see. 
Here's how you know you need to get out more:
When the best part of your day is a trip to the Racetrack Gas Station.  I'm not kidding! My car was puttering along, begging for gas when I pulled into the station.  I almost squealed with delight because I made it to the cheapest gas station in town.  Lulu and I went inside and she picked out a fruit and cheese snack for lunch and I got a big ass soda.  The fun was just beginning.  It was a soda lover's delight, with crushed ice and seemingly endless selections of soda flavors, which I mixed and matched to my heart's content.  And the crispy creme doughnut selection...don't even get me started on that! 
What can I say? I'm a cheap date.  But you know what? I'm going to own the pathetic glee that I experienced today.  Because I think God wants us to delight in the details.  Now anyone who knows me can vouch for the fact that I do not suffer in silence (Please! You just have to read my posts.) But, I am great at one thing.  It should be a virtue if it's not.
I delight in the details.  I can make a memory out of a Cadbury Egg, okay?  Or a funny story.  I can love the hell out of a book or a movie.  I can think fondly about the expression on my kid's face for hours.  I can turn a sweet text from my husband into an epic romance.  And a kind word from a friend...I can do a lot with that.  Oh, and you should see what I can do with a kiss! I spent the better part of the last two years of high school, thinking about a kiss...that would be about the time that my grades began to plummet.  

Just the other day a ridiculous bumper sticker made my afternoon.  
"Jesus was breast fed."
Ha! I think that was pretty much the only option. 

My cousin, Annie, is great at this too.  That's probably why I enjoy her company so much.  On the rare occasion that the two of us get to go out to eat, it sounds something like that famous scene from "When Harry Met Sally." We just enjoy the food that much.  
When I am feeling overwhelmed by the day to day crap that bogs people down, she helps me remember all of the great things that I love about my life.  She says, "It's a bad day, not a bad life." 
So yes, my life for the last few weeks has been kind of pathetic.  Maybe this means that I get a little too excited at the gas station.  But, that's not my life.  That is just right now.  And if I am very, very lucky...and if he is reading this now...maybe, just maybe, there will be a kiss at the end of the day!



1 comment:

  1. Damn Katie!
    Every time I say I have a favorite Post, you go and outdo it. So now THIS is my all time favorite Post. I loved it. I love you. I LOVE that you delight in the details; it's what makes you YOU. And it's the reason why you are my single favorite person on this planet to read a book with, watch a tv show together, see a movie, share a meal, tell a funny story, get a pedicure, etc. Just basically life--you're my favorite person to do life with!! Lilah will be okay. The Migraines will stop. This too shall pass. I love you Sis!