Thursday, February 21, 2013

Little Miss Responsible

Too often, I find myself worrying for my children...obsessing about all of the ways that the world will try to crush their little spirits.  They are so very innocent and sweet right now.  I wish I could surround them with a protective bubble so that they don't have to grow up too quickly or have their hearts broken.  But, these things will happen and I do not get a say in when the first boy makes them cry or which mean girl makes fun of the way they are dressed or wear their hair.  I can only protect their innocence at home, set boundaries that keep them safe, and surrender them to the One who gave them to me.  And when, inevitably, they come home with teary eyes and trembling lips, I can make threatening, menacing phone calls to the parties responsible and sit in the back of the classroom for a few days. 
Just kidding.  About the menacing part...not the stalker behavior. 
Right now, I am trying to let each day be sufficient unto itself and enjoy these little people just as they are.  They are truly fearfully and wonderfully made!  I remember smelling their little heads when they were newborns and just knowing that they had come from heaven.  "I wonder if you remember heaven?" I would whisper in their little ears.  
You know what I love about kids?  They are the best parts of each parent all mixed up together.  Savannah is my type A, little Miss Responsible.  Her biggest struggle in this world will most likely be the unreasonable expectations that she sets for herself.  She looks a lot like me, but her brain belongs to my husband.  One night, I lay in bed next to her as she was tossing and turning, and I said, "Savannah, go to sleep already!" She looked at me and said, "I'm not like you and Lilah, Mommy.  My brain has trouble going to sleep.  This could take awhile!" Point taken.  
She is such a rule follower!  NEVER, would she consider talking in line at school or raising her hand to ask an unnecessary question.  She'd rather get an answer wrong than risk disrupting the class.  She was SO upset when she was sick with strep and had to miss the lock down drill at school.  
Savannah: "Mommy, what if an emergency happens and I won't know what to do?!  Do you think (the teacher) could repeat the drill so that I get a chance to practice?"  
Me: "I don't think so babe.  But, I will be sure to tell (the teacher) that you are worried about it and she can tell you what you missed."
Savannah: "Mommy, sometimes during math, I look down at my feet or out the window, but I would NEVER do that during a drill. Safety is very important!"

She clearly did not get this from me.  I cannot remember a single drill I ever participated in.  In first grade, I was ALWAYS staring at the floor or out the window (a small clock was a permanent fixture on my desk!)

I do like to think I have something to do with her kindness, though.  Savannah is truly one of the kindest, most caring people I have ever met.  
God, please protect that tender little heart!

Lilah, on the other hand, has my stubborn pride and righteous indignation!  Let's call her Little Miss Stubborn. She is fiercely loyal to the people she loves and always stands up for herself and others.  Her biggest hurdle will be remembering not to judge and keeping a lid on that temper.  But, she is so insightful already!  Lilah has a sensory disorder and she has learned at the age of four how to self soothe by squeezing my hand or listening to a familiar song, when she feels panicky.  She is  so very expressive about her feelings and can make you feel loved like nobody else when she snuggles up to you, making her little sucking noises with her blankie.  When Lilah love you, you really know it. 

God, let her share that affection with people worthy of her love.
Before motherhood, I could literally not keep a plant alive.  Now, look at me!  I remember to feed them and even wash them sometimes.  I am in awe of you mothers who have three, or four, or more children.  What an awesome responsibility!  When motherhood gets to be too much, just remember that you are the glue that holds your family together, and you are doing a great work.  
"I am doing a great work and cannot come down." Nehemiah 6:3



No comments:

Post a Comment