A Letter to Mom

My Mom. 

I could write a lot about her.  Truthfully, I'm sure I don't say as much as I should.  I have never been as eloquent in person as I am on paper. 

She was off being a good daughter this weekend to her mother, so we did not get to celebrate Mother's Day together.  We will have our mother daughter time together next weekend, planting my first flowers in my first yard together.  

This weekend, I thought I'd write her a letter, since that is what I'm good at.  She would not have wanted a flower arrangement or an expensive present.  We are alike that way.  My mom would say "Thank you!" but she'd be thinking, "Why on earth did you spend money on that?!" Mom likes to know how you feel about her and she treasures the written word.

Dear Mom,

        There are so many gifts you have given me and lessons that I have not forgotten! In fact, I am busy reteaching many of them these days to your granddaughters.  I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you for a few of them.  

        When I was little, you taught me how to love Jesus.  You know, you were quite the walking contradiction: a Southern Baptist, Sunday School teaching, Democratic, Social Working, Bible Reading, Feminist, Homemaker.  But, one of the first things I remember about you, that I loved about you, is your love for God.  We were quite a team, you and I! Me, the tiny person singing "Washed in the Blood of the Lamb" before I could really talk, evangelizing to anyone who would listen, (definitely got the tent revival gene) and you the analytical thinker, trying to keep me from turning into Tammy Faye at the age of 8. Without you to teach me compassion, patience, and humility, I would not have understood what it really means to be a Christian. Thank you.
       For as long as I lived at home, and still now, you teach me how to be a wife and mother.  When I think about all the times when you could have lashed out at Dad or spoken unkindly to your rude children, I am in awe of your patience! You did a great deal of parenting alone, while Dad was out of town on business, and I never remember you complaining about that.  If you were anything less than happy being at home with us, no one knew. I do remember how very happy you were to have him home on the weekends and long kisses in the kitchen after he walked though the door.  You made marriage look so easy! Ha! And, parenting? Whenever I am about to snap and say something unkind to my kids, I think of you and the way you and Dad spoke to me as a child.  Now I understand what self restraint it took for you to be so kind. Thanks for making us feel like we were the most important people in your world. I am a good mother because of you.  
      You taught me how to be a dreamer.  Most people would not guess this about you because you are so responsible and level headed.  But you are the biggest dreamer I know. I love that you are always dreaming about a trip, a weekend, or the farm where you will raise chickens when you retire. No matter how tough things get, you keep calm and carry on.  I love the way that you find joy and gratitude in the midst of a disaster!  You taught me how to be grateful for a book, a meal, a conversation, or a walk.  This has served me better than any lesson I have learned.  Thank you for having such big dreams for me and most importantly, for never being disappointed when I have chosen my own path.  This may be the greatest gift a parent can give her child.  
     I am so proud of the person that you are.  Most of all, I am glad that you are still in the process of becoming.  You never stop growing or become set in your ways.  It is a pleasure to watch you reinvent yourself and take risks, and never, ever stop dreaming.  One day, I hope that my dreams for myself are as big as the dreams you have always had for me.  And I hope that when my daughters are grown, they admire me as much as I do you.  For all this and more, thank you, Mom. 

Happy Mother's Day!