Maybe Baby

 

Okay before I launch into this post, I'd like to add a disclaimer:

I am aware that this is entirely hormone induced, caused by my ticking biological clock, and probably not at all responsible or a good idea.

There.  I would like to talk about this phenomenon that hits some women when we are in our mid to late thirties.  It is this hormonal reaction that encourages us to procreate with whoever is willing (even Jorge the roofer who does not speak English) so that we may be fruitful and multiply!  Fortunately we have brains that can override our biological urges.  Brains are supposed to tell us that it is not intelligent or responsible to have another child when your sweet husband is already stressed to the max and you have your hands full with two spirited young ladies and a dog that thinks he is your son.  Brains should stress the wisdom in the decision to have two beautiful children rather than three.  Because these little girls will one day be young ladies who will expect you to gladly pay their college tuition and throw each of them a respectably extravagant wedding if the time comes.  Let's not even mention the gymnastic lessons, dance classes, summer camps, trendy clothes, toys, and trips to Disney world!  Have I made my point?

Two children is quite enough for us. Hell! There was a time when we didn't think we'd be able to have any!

So why? Why do some of us catch the baby fever when we already have a full plate of kiddos?! 

Let's explore what the thirty something female heart says.  The heart wants what it wants, right?  And every month when my ovaries kick it into high gear, my brain gets all juiced up on hormones and takes a back seat to the reproductive organs.  My heart says, "You have such a wonderful husband. You two make such beautiful babies together.  It would be a shame to deny the world such beautifully genetically engineered individuals!" Sneaky bastard!  It conveniently leaves out some of the sketchy genes that might jump in on the action.  

Then the heart says, "Don't you want a son? You know, to pass on the family name, continue the line, and all that stuff? Hey, don't worry about the finances! God will provide. Jesus wants you to have more babies! Oh, and remember how cute your girls were as babies? They were so sweet and well behaved." Ha! My heart forgot that we burned out a brand new vacuum cleaner b/c Savannah was only quiet at night when it was running.

So what to do? Well, right now we have chosen the path of carelessness.  We have not been trying to get pregnant...we're just sort of...you know...practicing.  For fun.  Whenever I see my doctor for lady parts he smiles and says, "Are you using any birth control?" 

Now that's just rude, since he knows full well I am not!

I say, "Nope.  But you know,  I'm not actually all that fertile, so..."

Then he says, "You know what I call people who don't use birth control? Parents!" 

Okay, okay.  So he's got a point.  But creating our children has to be like a science project with all sorts of bells and whistles and a whole lot of Hail Marys. I'm just not that worried.  Never the less, I'm going to pray on it.  As in all departments of my life, Jesus needs to give my heart a little guidance, and I know He will because he's good like that.  I ask and he answers, even if it's not the answer I had in mind.  

Regardless of what the final outcome is, I am grateful for the reasons why my heart wants another child. I count myself truly blessed to still be in love with the same man that I loved when I was sixteen.  I am blessed that we still enjoy...er...practicing so much.  And I am grateful that he is such a truly amazing father that I wish I could give him more children.  They would be lucky to have him.  

As am I.