Lazy Days and a Little Comedy

Well, Dear Reader, the first couple of weeks which kicked off our 2012/2013 school year did NOT go as planned.  I had all these fabulous plans of hitting the gym every morning (by now I was already expecting to see some results!),  joining MOPS, meeting with the elementary school music teacher to discuss how I can bring my musical/photocopying gifts to the table, etc.  It was going to be an amazing kick off to the school year and I was going to be mother of the year.  

Here's what happened instead. The mono (yes, I am 33 years old and NO I am not kissing any frat boys on the sly) that I thought was behind me did not appreciate my efforts to travel, throw a party, nurse my kids back to health, etc.  It decided to rear its ugly head and slow my ass down.  Did you know that a cup of coffee followed by three coke zeros does NOT qualify as a treatment for mono?? No! It just causes acid reflux!  I tried it.  And my gym membership?  Well...I lasted about thirty minutes into my first cardio class and then used the step (hate those things) for the rest of the class as a bench on which to sit with my head between my knees.  Awesome!  

I've spent the last few days laying like a vegetable.  I have watched every premium channel series I possibly can. I am emotionally involved with some of the characters now. (When did "True Blood" become a parody of itself? It's like a really bad soap opera where everyone dies daily. And the shape shifters need to just disappear all together...so not interested.) Today was a big deal because I made it to the Post Office without passing out.  Now, I feel just good enough to be really freakin' bored.  And a little crazy from the isolation.  How do people do this crap for like three months?  Or six?  I would be talking to myself and knitting dog sweaters by then.  And don't even get me started on my reading material...just let me know if you need an update on the Kristen/Robert love saga summary. I wish I could tell you that I have been dutifully reading my Bible and spending lots of time in prayer, but I sort of have to be walking or standing to pray right now.  Otherwise, I fall asleep.  It's no wonder my brain cells are deteriorating with a steady diet of intellectual junk food!  

Enough of my pity party! There are some highlights to this painfully slow week.  My convalescence has saved our family some money.  You see, when I am unleashed with my children upon the world, I like to buy stuff, mainly food and caffeine, at every opportunity.  Now, I have developed quite a talent for eating the contents of my freezer (I am not one of those people who loses weight when ill...or ever).  And Daddy had some really great quality time with the kids this weekend.  He has a gift for keeping the rugrats entertained in creative ways at home (dressing and teeth brushing is always optional).  As for my perks, the slow pace of my movements right now has allowed some time to appreciate the wonderfully, absurd things my children say and do every day.  Every day at about 5pm, we will stroll over to the neighborhood pool and I stretch my sluggish body out on a lounge chair, and enjoy the view: my two girls frolicking and splashing as they share stories from the day and try to impress me with their bravery and prowess in the water.  Here is a taste of the what comes out of their little mouths:

Lulu: Mama, why do all of your shirts make your boo-baas look so big?  Is it because Jesus made your shirts like that or because he made your boo-baas really fat??

Nana: Lilah, do I look mysterious? Lulu: Savannah, I have no idea what that means.

Nana: This is the hardest maze in the wholly spirit world!! It is work that only a genius could do.  

Lulu:  Savannah, do you want to borrow my Chucky Cheese (stuffed animal) to help you sleep?  Nana: No thanks.  Lulu: Why? He's a good guy!!

Lulu: I'm only going to gymnastics if everyone tells me that my leotard is gorgeous when I get there.  And they never do!

Lulu: I just said hi to Freddy (our dog) and you know what he said to me?  Nothin', Absolutely nothin'!  

Now, it's off to the pool for a little swim and some comedy.  As I vegetate, counting the hours until Daddy comes home, I will try to stop and smell the roses, or chlorine, as it were.  Because soon we'll be moving a mile a minute, juggling girl scouts, gymnastics, play dates, and homework, and I will be thinking longingly about the slow pace of the last few days, when my most stressful decision was whether to eat the frozen orange chicken or the chicken noodle soup for dinner.