Thursday, December 20, 2012

Sing Out Loud (Even If You Don't Know the Words)

Confession: I have not been looking forward to blogging this week because for once, I am speechless (you might want to record this moment as it may never happen again).  Like the rest of America, I feel like everything I take for granted, everything I thought was safe, is now uncertain and scary.  I have felt this way only a couple of times in my life (9/11 was one) and I find myself leering up at God, thinking, "So, you really know what you're doing, huh?  Got this under control too?"  

And of course, He does.  As Americans, we have this hefty sense of entitlement that leads us to believe (falsely) that this life should be smooth sailing, if only we try hard enough to do the right things. The whole "what goes around comes around" bit. He never promised it would be easy or safe or fair...only that He would be with us to the ends of the earth.  

So where does that leave us?  I can only speak for myself.  This week's tragedy has reminded me that my children don't really belong to me.  They have just been loaned out to me for safe keeping.  I don't know what their futures will hold, or what tomorrow may hold for that matter.  The only thing that I have control over is their reality right here, right now.  

This week, the little people have been unleashed upon me for Winter Break.  Hooray!! (Sounded pretty sincere, right?)  Seriously though, as I listen to Lilah beg for gum (we are looking for a PreK twelve step program) for the 500th time that day, Savannah clinging to my leg, whimpering desperately each time I try to walk the dog (late onset separation anxiety??), I find myself breathing a little deeper.  Relaxing the tiny muscles in my forehead.  And speaking softly with compassion.  As I walk by them with laundry spilling out of my arms, I spontaneously smell and kiss the tops of their little heads.  They still smell like babies to me. I think to myself, "You are so precious to me with your loud voices, grimy fingers, and ridiculous fashion choices (flip flops paired with a wool coat)." 

We all do that after the unspeakable happens, don't we?  Talk a little sweeter and softer...take a minute to notice the blessings that are in front of us.  

Here was my blessing for the four year old singing a song that makes her sound like a cougar trying to reel in fresh meat.  Before you judge, we do NOT listen to songs in my car that frequently use the word "baby"in reference to the opposite sex, I promise.  Lilah learned this little gem at the cheer-leading camp she attended with her big sister.  They now love Ms. Carly Rae Jepsen more than the Chipettes (Alvin's Lady-friends), which is saying a lot.  This is Lilah enjoying the heck out of "Call Me Maybe" and not at all sure about the words.  Hope it puts a smile on your face! 


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