Tuesday, October 30, 2012

My Disney Hangover

I am feeling sentimental today so bare with me, folks!  At any moment I may begin to wax poetic.  How to describe our week long Disney extravaganza?  I think Dickens said it best when he said, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times".  Try not to roll your eyes (rude!)

No, but seriously, it was mostly the best of times.  No one was ill, there was only one car related puking incident, the kids had a fabulous time, Mommy had only one Disney snap, and Hubby and I are still speaking.  For a week at Disney with four people sleeping in a tiny Princess Ariel room, I'd say that is pretty admirable!  Let me say that Disney World definitely delivered the magic that was promised.  From the dinner menus to the staff to the Art of Animation Resort, every detail was perfectly catered to little people #not the kind on TLC.  I sincerely believe that there is no place in the western world that makes children feel more pampered.  And the best part is that everyone there is treated like a pampered child! In the magical world of Disney, all normal rules of society go out the window and anything goes.  For instance:

1.) It is socially acceptable for a chubby, thirty-five year old woman (with no children) to roam the park ALONE during the Halloween season, dressed from head to toe as Cinderella. I mention that she was chubby only because there is NO WAY she was one of the professional princesses roaming the park.  Disney princesses are a size 6, generally.  I am like two Disney princesses stuck together.

2.)  Everyone is called "Prince" or "Princess" when spoken to by the Disney staff.  Pretty awesome.  This is how Hubby and I address each other at home now.

3.) It is not unusual to hear a conversation like this in one of the parks at 10pm.  
Father: Dude, did you see that? On Space Mountain my ass was a foot off the seat!  I thought I was going to fly out of there!
Small Child: Totally! I thought I wasn't going to make it back! It was crazy, Dude.

4.) It is expected that on the Disney dining plan you will be eating a large meal for lunch followed by a super sized cupcake that looks like Mickey Mouse.  Need I say anything?  Oh yeah, then you get to do it again for dinner.  If you try to check out without your dessert, you get in trouble.

5.) Hubby and I felt like losers for bringing our tired kids back from the park after 10pm each night only to discover a swimming pool still full of children upon our arrival.  We actually had nightly conversations with toddlers in the elevator at 11pm.  

6.) Cinderella and Prince Charming spend equal time visiting and posing with everyone at the Grand Floridian Resort's 1900 Park Fare restaurant.  I seriously thought I would have to wrestle Cindy away from the transsexual sitting by us...he/she did NOT want to share.  

I'm telling you, it's a whole other world out there.  Mostly wonderful.  But there are pitfalls.  For one, you gotta watch out for the Disney snap.  I don't care if you are Mother Theresa, traveling with a group of tiny orphans; it WILL happen to you.  And can I make a suggestion?  Disney World is like a pressure cooker for families.  If your marriage is on the rocks and you think Disney might bring some of the magic back, you might as well have a lawyer on speed dial.  Fortunately, Hubby and I are in a good marital place or we may not have survived.  It is not uncommon to hear a parent on the edge yell, "This is supposed to be the happiest damn place on earth!" at least once a day.  If you find yourself experiencing this very moment, just tell yourself, "I DON'T really hate my family.  It's just the magic getting to my head."  

As promised I will now share my Disney snap moment.  Do not judge me. Okay, so we're at Cinderella's Castle in the Magic Kingdom, and we are getting ready to meet ALL of the princesses and have our picture taken with each pretty lady.  We've had these reservations for almost a year, and are being served very expensive food by a snooty waiter.

Lilah: I hate this food.  It smells disgusting (tears).
Savannah: Yeah, why do we have to meet all the princesses?  Can't we just go?!
Me: No, we can't!  You are so ungrateful!  Do you know how long it took me to get this reservation?  You will have your picture taken with all of them or we will spend the whole day in the hotel room! You know what?  Just forget it!  I will have Daddy take my picture with the princesses.  How about that?

I know what you're thinking because I am in the future too.  

You know how they say all is well that ends well? Well it did, as you can see from the pictures.  We actually managed to have a lovely time and not hurt each other.  So there you have it.  I could write a whole other post on all of the useless Disney World Wisdom I now have rolling around in my brain.  Hell, people devote whole blogs to Disney World. I would not do that to you. But, if you find yourself planning a trip down south and you'd like some Disney survival tips, I'm your girl.  I will hook you up, homey.  Just say the word.  





  1. If pics are worth a thousand words, you guys had a lot more fun than you did frustration. :) Oh and we all have Mommy Snaps - Disney or not. HA!

  2. I have to admit I have a mommy snap like once a day...(maybe more). (:

    Pictures are beautiful! I love Ariel!!!

    Glad you guys enjoyed it!!!

  3. Magnificent! Great Mommy snap. I promise to contact you if we ever delve into the Disney magic!! Xoxo
    P.S. Your babies are super photogenic, just like Mom!

  4. Girl! I am amazed and proud of you for doing it. The girls will remember this and cherish it for the rest of their lives! This is definitely a trip "for the kids." I hope you took lots of notes for me so I can take your wisdom with me when we go! xoxo -Annie