Thursday, December 8, 2011

System Overload

We hate a lot of things right now!  We hate seat belts (they're tooooo tight). We hate wet cups.  We hate most foods (besides happy meals, of course).  We hate underwear, socks, jeans, jackets, and hair bows.  We hate the way things smell, especially food. We hate to be warm. Even if our little toes are about to fall off from frost bite, we take our shoes and socks off in the car. The list goes on and on.  And by "we" I mean Lilah Rose.  I know that hate is a strong word to use about underwear but trust me, she hates 'em.  After hours upon hours of driving with the radio turned up to drown out Linda Blair in the back seat (I can use this nick name because it used to be mine!), I can safely say that this is more than a three year old's temper tantrum.  The fact is, the car rides and the act of getting dressed are down right painful for my girl.  
I am starting the process of educating myself about sensory dysfunction.  Admittedly, even as a teacher, I know very little about it, other than the signs that it could be a problem.  While many of these symptoms fit my baby girl to a T, others could not be further from her personality.  So I will leave it up to the experts.  I have made an appointment to see someone whose education far exceeds mine, and will let her decide where we go from here.  Here's my thought process about this: I just don't want to make it worse.  Don't we often think this parents?  Somebody give me a freakin' handbook and tell me how not to break this child!  Lately, throughout my day, I find myself muttering, "Sweet Jesus, help me!"  And I'm not using the Lord's name in vain.  No, I just want Him to throw me a lifeline! I had to explain this to my five year old, Savannah, who has started dramatically throwing her hands up in the air saying, "Oh, my Lord!!"   Maybe I should tone it down a bit?
Either way, we made some progress this morning, thanks to the suggestions of the super mamas in my small group from church.  Instead of turning up the music this morning when the shrieking began, I quietly told Lilah, "Mommy is here and I'm sorry that you are hurting."  She quieted down slightly, still squirming, and grabbed my right hand. I drove one handed while my right hand stayed in hers.  Trust me, this is far less dangerous than driving while a three year old is screaming and kicking the back of your seat.  And that is what we will do until we can find a better plan.  So often, I cannot fix what is hurting my kids.  But, I can be still and bear witness to her discomfort.  A wise man once told me that he figured out the key to validating his wife when she is hurting.  "Sometimes you have to quit trying to fix it and just bear witness."  People need  someone to say, "I see you, I hear you."  So that is what I will do. 


  1. So nice to read that someone else is going through the same thing I am. Audrey ALWAYS takes her shoes and socks off in the car!!!! Drives me crazy sometimes.

    Hang in there. Sounds like you are doing a great job!

  2. I was telling Allie about this on my car ride home tonight. She has a friend that's a Sensory Therapist. She said "diet" plays a big role. Who knew? Google it! I'm so sorry you are struggling with this and I can't wait for you to get in to see Amanda. Hang in there. I love you. I'm proud of you. You are an awesome Mama!! xoxo