Friday, January 6, 2012

Don't Worry, Be Happy

I chose this image because this is how I feel today.  My cup runneth over. Feels like I could stand on a mountain top and scream, "Thank you!!" Not in a crazy, I'd like to french kiss the world kind of way.  I'm not manic or anything.  Just so joyful.  On most days I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  I'm not naive, but here's the thing: I don't care how long this great season of my life lasts.  I really don't.  If I'm gone tomorrow, I will would be sad for my babies and my husband, but I would leave knowing that I'd done all of the things I wanted to do and loved the people in my life the way I wanted to.  If you have ever suffered or experienced depression, you know how beautiful this is.  And that is not to say that my life is perfect.  It is certainly filled with the same problems that other people have, and then a few extra, but it is blessed.  I remember a wise minister once listening to me cry in his office because I couldn't seem to get pregnant with our first child (a moment of desperation for a young twenty something Kate) and he said such a profound thing to me.  He said, "God may not give you the happiness that you are looking for.  You may not get what you want.   But, I can promise you that if you ask for it, He will give you real joy and peace."  Aha! Joy and happiness are not the same thing.  Lesson learned!  Happiness seems to be related to the "happenings" in my life.  But I have found joy in the midst of total chaos and tragedy.  And you know what?  As soon as I gave up on negotiating with God for a kid and learned to be "joyful" without one, He gave us Savannah Banana. 
Right now I am loving some basic things in my day to day life.  Lovin' my new mix CD. Nothing gets me going like a brand spankin' new CD.  I heard recently that a study has shown that a favorite song affects the same part of your brain as sexual stimulation! Crazy, right?  Look out, hubby!
The crazy stuff my kids say makes me so happy, but that's a whole other post.  Today, my three year old said, "Mama, I want Maria to come to our house for a play date (her new friend from school).  I like Maria because she's a girl.  Boys are just like zombies, aren't they mama?"  Everything Lilah says is so funny because her "r's" always come out like "w's".  Try being mad at someone who can't pronounce their "r's"! It's like trying to keep a serious look on your face while having a conversation with the priest from "Princess Bride".  
Holding babies at Jazzercise makes me giddy.  I previously mentioned that I work for free for an hour a week.  It's supposed to be babysitting in the nursery for a free Jazzercise membership, but turns out I don't actually exercise, so it's workin' for free.  Why don't I quit? I guess I just love rocking those tiny babies for an hour.  There are two that show up every week that have been coming since they were five weeks old.  I cuddle with them and talk to them while their moms work off that pregnancy weight.  Just looking at them makes my uterus contract.  And the beauty of it is that I get to go home after an hour without the leaky boobs!  
Catching up with my friends and telling funny, inappropriate stories makes me happy.  I have friends all over the United States and it doesn't matter if we talk every day or once a month, or even twice a year.   The best kinds of friends are those who share a history with you and get you.  Those are the people that you can pick right up with where you left off.  They don't require "image control".  I don't have to filter myself or try to say the right things so they'll like me.  Every woman should have one or two of these people to call friends.  
If I leave my kids with one lesson, it's to take pleasure in the details.  It's something that you have to learn (it may be an arduous process for the slow people like yours truly).  I had to get knocked over the head a lot before I figured that one out.  
These days I don't have a clue what tomorrow will bring and I don't care.  I just know that I won't go to my grave wishing that I had worried more.
Remind me of that tomorrow, okay?



  1. Loved this post Katie Bug and could relate to much of what you said. You're right..there's a big difference between joy and happiness. Today I settle for content--peace and contentment. A simple life; no drama! It's the best. I would also die a happy and fulfilled girl if I left the Earth today. Pretty amazing to be able to say that! And those authentic friendships that require NO image control; well they're the best! I'm so lucky to have 3 of those. So blessed!! Love you. xo

  2. As always, reading your post fills me with JOY. I'm so happy you moved to Georgia and that your life with your family is now rich in peace and contentment, You all deserve it, I love you.

  3. Thank you!I love you guys so much too.