Kids Say the Funniest Things

Sometimes you just have to make lemonade out of lemons.  I do this with great effort and a lot of resistance.  Let me explain. My mother would be first to tell you that it is not in my nature to be perky.  It is the single reason why I did not make it to the final round of call backs for the Mickey Mouse Club in the early 90's.  What a tragedy!  I made it to the callbacks. Fame and fortune was within my grasp. But alas, I just couldn't muster up enough perkiness to hang with Britney and Justin.  To this day, I sulk very well.  If I'm not enthused, you're gonna hear about it.  There is one thing that has saved me from being a Debby Downer and royal pain in the ass, and that is becoming a parent.  I have always known that becoming a mother made me a much better version of myself.  After all,  it's not their fault if I don't feel well or have PMS and Daddy isn't going to make it home until after bedtime.  

Today has been one of those days.  Daddy is at work, Mama has PMS and feels like a walrus, both kids are home sick from school, and Freddy has been leaping all over us with his typical schnauzer enthusiasm for life.  I'd like to hide in my room, and leave the girls and my furry friend to their own devices, but they look at me with their father's humongous eyes and say, "Pleeeeaaase play with us, Mama!"  

So it's off to the classroom/ living room we go!  Lilah is the teacher today, Miss Gail.  And Savannah and I are the dutiful students.  Strangely enough, our classroom happens to be on an airplane.  Go figure?  I have always prided myself on being a good student (at least during my last 5 years of college) but boy did I get put in my place!  I seem to have forgotten all of the rules.  Right away, I am corrected for not sitting "criss cross apple sauce" (Indian style is no longer PC)!  Next I try to get up to go to the bathroom and Miss Gail clears her throat, while glaring at me.  "Excuse me, buddy, but we do not leave our seat without asking," says Miss Gail. Oops!  So I ask.  

"Oh Lord! You need to raise your hand!" 

I am not making a good impression.

You probably know what's coming next.  I interrupt yet again, and am sent to time out, where I serve my time with a Cabbage Patch student who has been really naughty!  This girl even gets thrown off the time out couch (I gotta find out what's going on at my kid's preschool.  I'm pretty sure that Miss Gail does not throw people though).  Lilah finally got control of her classroom and it looks like I am showing some potential at last!

 This is Miss Gail trying to read to her unruly class.

Here is that loser from the Cabbage Patch who always gets in trouble.

No matter how crappy or tired you might feel, kids have a way of saying stuff that just cracks you up.  Sometimes, I just like to stand outside a room and listen to the girls pretend to be teachers, princesses, doctors, etc.   The best part is that they aren't even trying to be funny! They are just fully committed to their parts.  I think I might be more cheerful if I devoted a little bit of time every day pretending to have a more fabulous, glamorous life!  Just as I've written this, Savannah has visited Disney World and the beach (the water is warm, if you are wondering).  
I will leave you with some amusing Savannah and Lilah sayings:

Savannah- "Weddings, weddings, weddings! Why must I always go to weddings?" She's actually only been to one : )

Lilah- "Mama, you are not a lizard.  You know why?  If I cut your finger off it would not grow back." 

Savannah- "When I grow up, I will marry a prince and then he will die and I will marry another one!"

Lilah- "Am I gorgeous?  Am I famous?"

Savannah- "Watch and learn, my friend.  Watch and learn."

Lilah was wearing my shoes one day and Savannah said, "Those shoes look a little big for you!"  Lilah said, "Yes, I lost some weight."

Savannah (after getting her ears pierced this week)- "Another glorious day to admire my earrings!"