Where are you, Christmas?

 

I found something that I lost today.  I lost it last January and it's been missing ever since.  With bated breath, I eagerly awaited its arrival the day after Thanksgiving.  To NO AVAIL! I asked myself, "Where art thou, Christmas?"  

No, I didn't.  

But, I did experience this nagging feeling of emptiness.  My holiday spirit did not rise to the occasion this November 25th.  To be fair (to Christmas spirit), it probably didn't help that we are spending our first holiday season in Georgia, where it is not uncommon to be wearing a t-shirt while decking the halls.  I don't miss much about the Midwest, but there is something comforting about the cold and snow that begins in November.  It is like an old, inconsiderate friend that rings in the holiday season. 

It got so bad, friends and family staged an intervention!  My mom and dad arrived with tinsel and ivy, lights and bows in tow.  They decorated my house while I stood by and nodded appreciatively.  My cousin Annie excitedly showed me her elf on the shelf that watches over misbehaving children and reports back to the North Pole.  Not even this perked my enthusiasm. I only listened to the Christmas round the clock radio at my kids' behest, but frankly, I was sick of the old holly, jolly stuff.  

Until...behold!  Christmas arrived just in the nick of time.  My daughter Savannah and I loaded up the car for some much needed mother/daughter time at my mom and dad's house.  My sweet husband stayed home with Lilah so that we could have some big girl time. 

At Nana's request, I played the only Christmas album I own, Mariah Carey's, "Merry Christmas".  As Mariah crooned "O Holy Night" and "Jesus, What a Wonderful Child" with her multi octave range, my heart melted.  I remembered why all the bells and whistles of the holiday felt empty to me.  I was missing Him.  It felt as if God whispered in a tiny voice, "Here I am.  I didn't go anywhere.  And I miss you."  Joy rushed through me and I fought the urge to throw my hands up as we flew down the highway.  Not a great idea at 65 miles an hour.  It also looks pretty nuts to other drivers. But the urge was there!

In the coming days, I will try to keep Christmas.  We will bake cookies, exchange presents, sing some of the classic hymns at bedtime, etc.  But above all else, I hope I can keep Him and the appreciation of His enormous gift with me.  The gift of God made man.  What parent doesn't cringe at the idea of bringing a baby into this hard world that will surely chew him up and spit him out?  God did it to save us and then watched Jesus die, knowing He could easily have saved His child.  That is a sacrifice I know I could not make.  But I can remember, and most importantly, offer my thanks.